nature VS. NURTURE

Today my husband went to a workshop all day that was presented by Dr. Bruce D. Perry, author of The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog. He met me at a coffee shop where I was doing "office work" and immediately shared a great encouragement with me. He explained that the work I am doing, working with couples as they become parents, is essential for our future, and for the future of our children.

Did you know that the most important brain development in human beings happen in the first 5 years of our life, and the most fundamental brain development-- the brain stem, which helps us to develop our most primal insticts, begins development while still in the womb. Eventually our brains become more and more complex, helping to control our responses to things, and helping us to reason between right and wrong. Those begin to be developed when we are still in the "elementary" life stages-- yet it is foundational to the kind of people that we become. It is the development of these parts of the brain that determine how we behave, and respond to moral choices in life.

For example, if a child is left alone for hours at a time, when he or she grows up, they may have depression or de-valued sense of self worth, or may have anxiety. In turn, these things may develop into choices that we as a society condemn morally--lashing out behaviorally in school, self mutilation, etc. We may condemn them now, while we stood back during the first years of life and did nothing to help this person as a child. Or worse yet, this child was born into a family with parents who had never been nurtured themselves by anyone so that they were able to parent to their child in loving, nurturing ways.

Dr. Perry says that we are wasting our time and money-- throwing it away, really-- when we neglect the first few years of development, and then spend millions on trying to counsel, correct, and discipline the people that we have created. If we just spent all of our time truly nurturing the soul when it is still in it's beginnings, we would instill the skills needed so that when people are hungry, they would not decide to steal when they don't have something to eat-- And when people are lonely, they would not cut to take away the pain-- And when people are hurt, they would not hurt others to try to make it right.

Nurturing a baby before it is even born is essential for it to develop into a healthy adult. My husband made another good point-- I am just a doula. Just one doula among thousands of others. My job is small, and may go unnoticed by many people. Yet, I also have the power to greatly impact the future of the world that we live in-- because I have the great responsibility to care for and nurture the parents of the children of the future. When I care for them and equip them as I should, they too can care for and equip their children to become strong healthy individuals.