On Sunday morning, I got home from my longest birth yet. I was with a laboring mom for 54 hours, and she labored for 76. It was a beautiful birth, and she made it through most of her birthing time with the mantra, "You can do anything for one minute," referring to the length of a contraction. That got her through 76 hours. She was amazing. Women are amazing.
I continually stand in awe of how women transform into being mothers during this time so many refer to as "labor". It is a completely vulnerable time, in which a woman utterly depends on the assistance and constant attention from her birth team. She needs consoling, massaging, coaching as she breathes, reminders to relax, let go and trust the process. She needs to be comforted. Not necessarily with medication. She needs support to be empowered. This changes her as a mother.
I love something I just saw a fellow doula, Cynthya Dzialo, Instagram. It was a poster from CAPPA (another doula certifying organization) which reads: "An epidural provides pain relief during labor; it does not provide mothers emotional, physical and emotional support. That would be a DOULA."
In a recent postpartum discussion I was having with a momma, we were reflecting on how interesting it is that in labor a mother must be doted on continuously, with reminders to eat and drink, and encouraged to use the bathroom, and change positions to get comfortable. She needs to have her hair stroked, and to be told everything is okay. Maybe even sung to, or swayed with, or tucked in with warm blankets. This isn't that far off from how we need to treat a newborn baby. If mothers don't receive this kind of compassionate care when they most need it, how will they know to respond to their helpless newborn, who can't communicate in words, but only has basic needs that need to be attended to in order to be nurtured and grow up to be peaceful and compassionate people?
I'm not sure how they can. I can't promise that my work as a doula is creating world peace, but maybe it's a start. I'd like to think so.
3 comments:
Hope, this is so beautiful! The 76-hour-warrior-mama shared your blog with me. It was beautiful to meet you during her (and your) labor of love.
Thanks, Salihah! It was such a pleasure to meet you:) She had a great birth team, and I was so honored to be a part of it: )
I do agree that a woman in labor needs to be comforted and also empowered. That is so so important. For the body to be allowed to do its wonders it needs to feel safe and secure. Love what you do Hope!
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