What Every Dad Needs to Know About Having a DOULA.

I recently asked a past client (in particular the dad-to-be) what his thoughts were about having me attend their birth. I wanted to have some information to post on my website. I couldn't post everything that he said to my website, but I thought that some of this might be helpful for dads or partners who are unsure if they want to have a doula attend their birth. I always say the best way for a dad or partner to know what to think about having a doula attend the birth with them is to ASK a dad who has had the experience. Often times, they are the most enthusiastic about having a doula after the birth. I will say no more-- straight from one dad's mouth.

How did you feel that I enhanced the relationship with your wife during the birth?

You did a great job communicating with both Rachel and I together. Obviously, in many ways Rachel was your focus, but you always took time to ask me questions and ask us questions together. You recognized that we were in this together, I never felt separate or left out. Also, during the birth you never came between Rachel and I, and you knew just when to step aside and let us have time to ourselves.

In what ways did we work together as a team?

Again, communication was key. You were very inclusive in your approach before the birth and during the birth. It was clear that the three of were working together to get the baby born. Before the birth we always met all together and leading up to the birth and during the birth, decisions were made together. Once Rachel was in labor, you and I focused completely on Rachel, helping her through each contraction, encouraging her and taking turns sleeping through the night so someone was always with her. 

Did you feel emotionally supported during your experience of becoming a father? How?

Absolutely! Not only did you give Rachel encouragement, but you encouraged me as well. You always made sure I was doing okay, asking how I was feeling and if I needed anything. If you hadn't been there I wouldn't have had any support and I really needed it considering it was such a long labor. I remember while Rachel was being prepped for the c-section and I was waiting to go in you were there with me talking through the process and just being there. I was very emotional in that moment and it meant a lot to me that you were there.

Why would you tell other dads that they should hire me (or another doula)?

I think especially for first time dads having a doula is great! A doula is advocate for not only the mother but for the dad too. They can answer questions, help out during the delivery and generally make the process feel much less daunting. Also, as a soon to be dad you are the main support to your wife, which can be overwhelming at times, but with a doula you have someone to assisting in that and it really takes some of the weight off your shoulders. I would particularly recommend Hope as your doula for a number of reasons. She's calming, easy going, easy to talk to and work with, she won't undermine you or try to make decisions for you. She's very encouraging and supportive not only to the mother, but to you too. She's very knowledgable in birthing, responds quickly and is confident in what she's doing. Finally, she's committed. My wife had a very long, challenging labor and Hope was there every step of the way, I honestly don't think we could have done it without her. She's a rock star doula in my book and I would highly recommend her!